No one got the song lyric from my post in March, so I’m making it the title to see if anyone can guess. 😉
I know, I know, long-time-no-post.
Well here’s the update. I gained 12 more lbs since my last blog post. I hit 237, caught sight of myself in a dressing room mirror, and cried. My jeans don’t fit, my dresses don’t fit, even my yoga pants don’t fit.
I don’t fit.
So, here I am again, starting over for the 101st time, making goals and lists and charts and plans and talking to my therapist and talking to my life coach and on and on and on again.
Micro-changes don’t seem to work for me. If I’m gonna lose this weight, it’s gotta be all or nothing. This “all or nothing” mentality makes my therapist cringe, and I hear her, but I’m too impatient for small changes. I want results now so I’ll have the motivation to keep going.
Some things we did work out together, however, and I think they are good places to re-start. Listed in no particular order:
~ Plan your junk food days. Actually schedule them. Plan them into your meal planning. If you know, in advance, that Mondays and Thursdays are Starbucks days, you won’t feel guilty about drinking your latte because it’s part of your meal plan. If you know, in advance, that Wednesday you’ll be serving mac ‘n cheese with your salmon and broccoli, you’ll be making a conscious choice about what you’re eating and there will be no guilt to make you emotionally binge eat later.
~ Keep up the water drinking. Based on numerous (at least six) websites I’ve visited, I need to be drinking approximately 119-152 oz of water every day. (This is based on weight, height, gender, and activity level, respectively.) That’s approximately three 40-oz water bottles every day. So far I’ve been able to get through one bottle at minimum for the last week or so. I’ve noticed it does make me eat less and feel less hungry as I’m hydrated.
~ A 5-minute walk around the building is still a 5-minute walk around the building. Never despise meager beginnings.
~ Find a rewards system that works for me. In the past, it’s worked to cut out certain foods to only be eaten as a reward for losing 5+ lbs, but my therapist insists this is not good for my psyche. However, the rewards system of books and dresses didn’t really work, either, because I’m always getting new books, new dresses, weight loss systems, etc., and there wasn’t really anything stopping me from having those things regardless of the weight lost. So she and I will be talking about that more over future sessions, trying to find what works for me.
~ I’m doing an “It-Works” wrap every time I lose some weight. I will weigh myself every three days on a digital scale, and if I’ve lost weight of any number (even 0.2 lbs), I will do a wrap. These wraps make me feel good about my stomach and help get rid of stretch marks and cellulite and are relaxing and “me” time. They are good motivators to keep losing because I enjoy doing them. And they’re expensive, so I can only justify doing them if I’ve something to show for my work.
That’s it for now. More to come, and hopefully, less to lose.
Originally posted on SparkPeople.com at https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6437742
Brokenness in the Beauty 