There comes a point when you’re just happy with yourself because you’re a “good person.”
I don’t know what else to do or think about to make me motivated to lose all this weight. I started out really goal-centered, really positive, really motivated. I made lists and goals and plans and rewards and here it is May 8 and I haven’t lost a thing. In fact, I’ve gained 7 lbs since my last blog post.
But I’m still not really motivated to do all the working out and the meal planning and the measuring and the staying up an extra hour to chop veggies for the next day’s meals. And who wants to do all that on a Saturday when you’ve got a cute little play buddy wanting to blow bubbles in your face? (He just turned 3, guys, and he is REALLY amazing.)
But I feel pretty enough already. Sure I’m not skinny and I have stretch marks and fat rolls that I wish weren’t there, but I bought a new red dress last month and it looks FABULOUS on me! I just bought new flats that make my feet look so cute. I have hair down to my waist that makes me feel beautiful when it’s shiny. I just started wearing makeup again after a 3 or 4 year hiatus and I feel empowered with my pink lip gloss and silver eyeshadow.
All these things – the weight loss, the makeup, some new clothes – they were all part of my “New Year, New Me” campaign, but really, I like the me I’ve got. I’m funny, smart, generous, thoughtful, a great cook, a great singer, and am a great encourager.
But I still feel like I need to lose all the weight. It’s in the back of my mind. It’s nagging at me. It discourages me. It hovers over me like a cloud.
So what next?
Originally posted on SparkPeople.com at https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6359365
Brokenness in the Beauty 