So, not only have I barely done *any* of my micro-challenges this past month, I’ve also GAINED 8 lbs. In a month. (She says while she eats a handful of chocolate covered cranberries.)
I would love to say, “You know what, I’ve given up. I’m just going to be fat forever and I’m going to be happy with who I am.”
But that’s only partially true. I’ve given up, but only for February. For March, I’m no longer giving up. I’ve given up the micro changes because in order to reach the goals I want, I need something more than just waking up at 6:30 am and being happy with one snooze. I need more than just drinking 8 glasses of water.
The biggest question right now is, “Am I happy with who I am?” And well, no. And yes. And no. I can be both happy with myself and unhappy with myself at the same time.
I am a great person, ifIdosaysomyself. I’m funny, smart, have long curly hair, can cook like a gourmet (-in-training…), care about others, send thoughtful notes to friends, have encouraging words at the ready, and folks, I am a phenomenal mamma. Still working on the great wife thing, but who isn’t?
But I am not happy with what I have become. Fat. Lazy. Unhealthy. Gluttonous. Cranky. Tired. Unmotivated to pursue personal growth.
So here I am again singing the same old tune… (I’m sending a prize to the first person who knows the song lyric going through my head right now) I’m restarting. Again. For the 800th time, with new goals and new rewards and new plans.
Plans:
1) Log into SparkPeople every day, even on weekends, even if it’s just to say, “I logged on today.”
2) Update the meal plan one week in advance, every week, to get an accurate shopping list.
3) PRINT THE SHOPPING LIST ON FRIDAY FOR THE FOLLOWING WEEK’S MEAL PLANS. (Because who remembers to print things???)
4) Drink 8 glasses of water per day. Bonus motivation: It’s fun to click the little water button on SparkPeople.
5) Follow the meal plan as closely as I can without a major overhaul of our grocery budget.
6) Walk around the church 3 times per day: once as soon as I get here, over lunch break, and during evening lock-up. Include going up to the balcony and back down, just to get some stairs in.
7) Do a 5-minute workout 5 days a week. I found several on the fitness tab on SparkPeople and it’s a realistic start.
8) Cut out my favorite foods to use as rewards. This includes Starbucks (*sob!*), pizza, and macaroni and cheese.
Goals with Rewards, every 5 lbs:
Starting weight: 221 lbs as of today
215: Starbucks
210: Pizza
205: Starbucks
200: New Dress to celebrate hitting heaviest pregnancy weight
195: Starbucks
190: Macaroni and Cheese
185: Starbucks
180: Pizza
175: Starbucks
170: New Dress to celebrate pre-pregnancy weight
165: Starbucks
160: Something off my Amazon Wishlist
155: Macaroni and cheese
150: Pizza
145: New Dress to celebrate wedding weight
140: Starbucks
135: Pizza
130: Macaroni and cheese
125: New Dress to celebrate those last 5 lbs!
120: Most expensive thing off amazon wishlist (I think it’s the Chronicles of Narnia collector’s edition set)
**These rewards are not set in stone. They can change at will. 🙂 Except the “celebration” rewards and the goal weight (120). Those I’m keeping.
New year. New me.
Originally posted on SparkPeople.com at https://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6328700
Brokenness in the Beauty 